I plan to write a new post about the latest political news tomorrow, but wanted to share a bit about my faith journey on here today.
I’m doing this because everything I write on here needs to be seen in the light of my renewed turn toward Christianity. (Man, I hesitate to use that word, with how it’s been abused in recent years, but I’m getting ahead of myself.)
I've been, ahem, well, going through some things the past six months. In fact, I’ve probably had as deep and emotional a time the past six months as I’ve had in any six-month period of my life.
Of course, this past six months involves the passing of my Mohter, God, the Bible, and things we don't typically discuss... But you’re here — at least for now — and I’m a very-open, real, and transparent person. I’m also a writer, so buckle up, I guess.
Let’s get deep and real up in here.
If I were writing one of my books, I'd say this journey six months ago began because my Mom received the shocking news from her doctor that she had a stage 4 cancer diagnosis and, oh by the way, only had mere months to live.
That would have probably been MORE than enough to get this ball rolling.
But in truth, it began a few weeks before that. Because my wife and I decided to start back in church for my 14-year-old stepson.
We both have complicated pasts with Christianity -- mine WAY more so -- and speaking just for myself, I was mostly getting back into church so that my stepson would have the same foundation that I had. (Albeit, hopefully, less complicated. lol)
But I planned to just go through the motions.
I don't like churches, judgy people, angry Christians, etc. And I had been on about a ten-year, self-journey into Chan Buddhism and mindfulness.
I was mostly good.
Maybe totally good? But I wanted my stepson to know of God. Because God has been with me my entire life.
But I want to make sure you’re not missing what I’m saying here. I mean, seriously guy… Are you understanding what I'm saying here? That I literally avoided Christianity the past ten years or so because so many Christians are just horrible people? Or at least that's how they come off as?
In fact, a big reason I've mostly kept this new faith journey quiet the past six months is that I'm practically ashamed to call myself a Christian. Or to talk about how much I love God or the Bible. (← And there will be Christians who judge me for those lines…)
But seriously, I'm legit not like most Christians. Don't want to be like them. Still don't like them.
They have hijacked the message of Jesus, injected it into politics, and set back the faith at least 50 years or more. They have so marred the name of Jesus and His words and His message that I nearly weep at what they've done.
And I often truly wonder if they even read the Bible they so often espouse.
But back to the larger thread, in visiting three churches and finally finding one, in watching my Mom go through her last weeks and days, in going through SOOOO MUCH the past six months, I have truly fallen in love with God and the Bible again.
I literally feasted on (listened to, actually) 20 chapters of the Old Testament yesterday, reading how God protected David through so much before he became king. There was so much strength and inspiration in that, that I have decided I will no longer remain silent about my journey.
You can unfollow me, block me, curse me, judge me, argue with me, etc. I really don't care. I believe in transparency. I was born a writer. And I am now (again) a proud follower of Christ. (← See, relax you judgy Christian readers…)
When I wrote these two posts below on social media the other day, it's because I was sidestepping the actual truth. The truth I've been writing about in this thread.
And that's a reality I'm just not going to hide anymore. Not that I'm some super-evangelist now, but my goodness, you can know God.
Losing my Mom was hard -- actually, about 50x harder than I expected -- and I even had the ability to sort of get ready for it with the definite and certain cancer diagnosis. And I already expected it to be absolutely BRUTAL.
And yet it was so much worse.
But what I wasn't prepared for was the situation with my Dad. I learned through this time that they had been mostly keeping a secret just how far into the memory loss/Alzheimer's that he is/was. And I was even closer to my Dad than I was my Mom.
(And I know, I know. You've probably already gone through this. I just need to suck it up. But this is my story -- and certainly my post -- so if you don't care...)
Back to what I was saying, I was going through the anguish and emotions of realizing that not only have I lost my Mom, I've also mostly already lost my Dad. He's changed and this is heart-wrenching.
And then I read The Shack — a book I couldn't even get through 10 or 12 years ago — and it absolutely rocked my world. It made me realize I can actually have a Father to still talk to. To share my fears with. To be honest with. To live alongside.
Like, how crazy is that?!
You can talk with God at any time?! And like He wants you to?!
And I’ve also learned that there are some churches that aren’t judgy. And that there are LOTS of people out there who love God but don’t go around screaming that they’re Christian.
I'm not really sure where all of this leads, but I wanted to be honest about life. What I’ve been going through. And how hopefully I can allow this renewed and re-energized love for God and the Bible to both impact my life and help me write more Lincoln-like political thoughts, full of kindness and hope.
I truly believe most Americans are good and we need compromise, unity, and love. Not hatred or extremes.
And I will endeavor to do all I can on both this site and my military newsletter/podcast to unite our great country.
Love and peace,
Stan R. Mitchell
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I’ll bet you’d love the motivating and inspiring book below about President Obama.
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CLOSING THOUGHT: Do not despair in these coming days. The light of dawn is emerging, and nothing can stop light (or truth).
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Evangelicals, as defined by current ‘culture’, are forgetting how many times Christ told Peter “worry about yourself” instead of what someone else is doing / getting / saying / etc.
Thank you for this deeply honest, brave, and moving post, Stan. I think so many of us have been alienated from Christianity due to a combination of negative past experiences and our nation’s current toxic religious/political culture. I often feel very lonely in my faith, as if I don’t even speak the same language as most Christians, especially fundamentalists. Nonetheless, I continue to pray and encourage my kids to believe in things that cannot be seen.
I’m so sorry for your heartache over your parents. I know that you’ve been led to find strength and comfort in God and in your study of the Bible, and I hope that you continue to be inspired.